Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Why's Have It: Healing Limiting Beliefs


Here in Seattle with all our rain (the past summer is an extraordinary exception to the norm) the growth of dandelions in size and number is truly spectacular.  Pre-historic-sized.  Copious.  Even noxious.  And very, very hard to get rid of.

This is how limiting beliefs function in our lives.  They can grow so large and spread so quickly that without constant vigilance, in a very short amount of time your mental yard can turn into a limiting-belief-dandelion-field interspersed with a few patches of healthy-mental-green-grass.

As with all weeds, but with dandelions in particular, the solution is to get to the root of the plant.  If it hasn't been uprooted enough, the dandelion will just re-grow itself from a partial root.  This isn't "bad" as it just reveals that there's more to unearth in your limiting-belief-mental-yard.  But you will save yourself a lot of time and effort in the end, if you can get most of the root out the first time, before the dandelion has the chance to re-grow and blow its seemingly infinite and eternally propagating seeds into the breeze to multiply all over again.

There are a variety of tools that can assist you in dandelion root excavation.  So, too, there are many tools to search out and dissolve limiting beliefs in your life.  Here is one I use that is easy to remember and effective.  I borrow the general principle from Martha Beck who got it from Japanese automakers.  Yup.  True.  

It seems that one of the main reasons Japanese automakers have become so efficient in their production lines is that they have adopted the philosophy of "The 5 Why's."  If a problem emerges in their cars at any point in production, it is the supervisor's MO to ask, "Why did this happen?"  No matter what answer they get, they don't stop there.  If they did, they'd probably only solve a surface issue and the problem would keep repeating.  So, after they solve the first "why," they ask a second time, "And why did this happen?"  They have found that it generally takes up to 5 "why's" to find the source or root of their problem.  By searching for the source from the beginning they save themselves a lot of time and effort (and money) on all sorts of levels.

I often apply this "5 Why's" principle to finding the root of limiting beliefs (and stuck emotions) in myself and clients.  Let's say I have the intuitive hit during a healing session with a client named "Dave" to have him say the affirmation, "I love myself totally and completely" outloud.

If Dave then repeats this with all the force and conviction of an emaciated worm, I suspect that perhaps he doesn't really believe it.  And then I know we're dealing with a limiting belief (or two or three or a whole yardful) that needs to be uprooted.  Having him say the affirmation over and over again without uncovering the limiting belief behind it is like mowing over all the dandelions in your lawn:  a temporary fix.  

To begin the uprooting, I have Dave repeat the opposite of the affirmation.  (Always side with the fear, the anger, the grief, the shadow, the unknown, the unconscious, allowing it to surface and flow while holding space for it in compassion, rather than fight it.  It loses its power that way.)  

So continuing on with the above example, I would have Dave side with his mostly unconscious, limiting belief and state out loud:  "I do not love myself totally and completely."

Probably, Dave will confess this with quite a bit more energy, even relief, showing that this is the real belief lurking in his mental yard, controlling his life from the shadows.  Even this early in the process, pain may start pouring out of him he didn't know he had, revealing how much emotional energy he has had to use up in order to keep this limited belief rooted and buried in his mental yard.  Once any emotions that have surfaced have been allowed to be, have run their course and thus mostly subsided, our dialogue might continue like this...

"Dave, why don't you love yourself totally and completely?"

"I'm a failure."

"And why do you believe you are you a failure?"

"Because I'm worthless."

"Why are you worthless?"

"My dad told me so when I was growing up.  Over and over."

"Why did your dad tell you that?"

"I don't know.  I guess, because he felt worthless."

"And why do you think he felt that way?"

"Because his dad told him that, too."

Aha!  In "5 why's" we've uncovered the root of this particular mental belief.  It's a family belief that has been passed down father to son, perhaps for generations, like a worn-out, out-of-style suit that doesn't fit.  The rest of the session, while I work with his energy surrounding this belief, I would ask my client to verbally release his family belief and affirm what he can now see as truth (that the belief that he is worthless doesn't have anything to do with him personally, and he can now choose whether to keep holding onto this belief or affirm a new one.)

There may be more limiting beliefs that have to be uncovered for Dave to truly begin to love himself totally and completely.  Actually, I'd say that's a given.  Dandelions and limiting beliefs don't live in solitary confinement for very long and so it's necessary for a person's mental yard to be excavated one dandelion belief at a time, until the "meta-shift" happens.  

This "meta-shift" happens the day you suddenly realize, "Hey, I don't need limiting beliefs at all anymore." You then bulldoze your entire mental yard all at once and start living with a completely new reality.  Your new MO?  Unlimited potential.  The sky's the limit.  Vast possibilities.  Unconditional love for self and all.  Then when an occasional dandelion pops up, as they invariably do in even the most meticulously cared for lawn, you can admire it for its own beauty, its tenacity, thank it for what it has to teach you, gently dig it up by the root, and put it in the compost pile to eventually feed and nurture the flowers in the mental garden you do want to grow.  

It takes quite a bit of work to unearth these limiting beliefs and dissolve them in compassion--what one healer calls "The Great Undoing."  But emerging from the other side is a life full to overflowing with love, joy, peace, beauty, and fulfillment.  Don't believe it?  Then you may have some mental dandelions to start digging up!  

In my own belief system, there's no time like the present to start re-creating your inner landscape and what you achieve inwardly, will absolutely change outer reality.  I have no doubt about it!



To schedule a healing session or intuitive spiritual consultation with Monica call her at 206-306-1144, email her at monica@monicamcdowell.com or for more information, check out her website at www.monicamcdowell.com
Copyright © 2009 by Monica McDowell, MDiv.  All Rights Reserved.  This entry may be linked, forwarded, or copied in its entirety as long as this paragraph is included and there is no profit gained by doing so.  Monica is an energy healer, spiritual director, minister, and author of My Karma Ran Over My Dogma:  Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic.  She has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in the United States ever granted civil rights in a federal ruling.