The Halloween-Teen Syndrome

(or How to Heal Your Fears, Part One)

A few weeks ago, a friend posted a video from YouTube.  The introduction to it stated:

"This is a car advertisement from England.  When they finished filming the ad, the film editor noticed something moving along the side of the car, like a ghostly white mist.  They found out that a person had been killed a year earlier in that exact same spot.  The ad was never put on TV because of the unexplained ghostly phenomenon.  Watch the front of the car as it clears the trees in the middle of the screen and you'll see the white mist crossing in front of the car, then following it along the road...Spooky!  Is it a ghost, or is it simply mist?  You decide.  If you listen closely to the ad, you'll even hear the cameraman whispering in the background about it near the end of the commercial."

Saying I'm fascinated by all things supernatural is like saying FaceBook is addicting, (duh!), so I eagerly clicked on the video's play button, turned up the volume to be sure to hear the whispering of the cameraman, got close to the computer screen so I could see the mist in front of the small car, and waited with bated breath for a ghost sighting.

If you're yelling, "Sucker!" at me right now, you guessed the set-up that I, with my gullible, Gilliganesque personality, totally missed.  Yup, it was just a gag video to scare you out of your skivvies and I got reeled in as easily as a limp fish.  When the sight and sound gag appeared, I let out a yell like a strangled peacock and about fell out of my chair from fright.  My heart was hopping around like a rabbit on crack so I started doing lots of deep breathing to try to calm it down.  After that I did something very unexpected:  I started laughing—hard—harder than I should have without first putting on a pair of Depends.

(For all ye of curious nature, I've posted the video below.  DO NOT get close to your computer screen and turn the volume up like I did unless you crave heart attacks.  You have been warned.) 

Apparently, these gag videos are all the rage among our young, for when I told my teenagers about the video, their response was "No big deal.  Kids send that stuff to each other all the time."  (Translation:  Duh, Mom!)  I should note here that my teens LOVED Bastyr University's "Haunted Trails" this year.  A few nights ago they stood in line for over two hours in the damp, teeth-chattering cold just so they could be fake-spooked for fifteen minutes by masked ghouls and chainsaw-carrying zombies.  Maybe this is a just an older version of the more innocent startle-and-laughter they got from Jack-in-the-Boxes.  Or maybe teenagers deserve their own designation in the animal kingdom, as the only mammals who LIKE to be terrified.

Maybe, though, there is something to be learned from all of this about how to heal our fears.

The unexpected, regaling laughter that emerged out of my body after about being scared out of it, gave me a new awareness.  Somehow I was able to see the humor in terror.  Slightly demented, I know, but it led to another insight:  Laughter is a stronger energy than fear.  You cannot laugh and be afraid at the same time.  Try it!  Right now!  Imagine something really scary.  Feel your fear.  Then imagine something funny enough to make you laugh, like your favorite Seinfeld episode.  Now try to feel your fear while you're laughing.  See!  It's impossible!  Both are generated in your belly (or for you energy connoisseurs, the stomach chakra) and laughing drives the angst right out!  

Perhaps this is why J.K. Rowling had her Harry Potter characters think of something funny in order to defeat the fake-scary boggarts.  And, perhaps this is what draws teens afflicted with the Halloween-Teen Syndrome to haunted trails and horror flicks like gluttonous pigs to slop:  by experiencing fear and then enjoying it and laughing at it, they learn how to overcome it.

As adults, I believe we lose the natural ability that teens have to laugh at fear, because, well, we are aware that there are REALLY horrific things in the world:  Terrorists, and swine flus, and global economic meltdowns!  Oh my!  Terrorists, and swine flus, and global economic meltdowns!  Oh my!  Can laughter really make a difference in light of such things?  I mean, there are truly barbaric events going on in our world right now.  Darfur, anyone?

On a recent episode of The Oprah Show, people and organizations that empower women and children were showcased.  One person, a woman from Portland, started a successful fundraising campaign for Sudanese women who had lived through unimaginable horrors.  She visited some of these women in Sudan earlier this year, to meet them and deliver letters from women in the States who had chosen to befriend them and sponsor them personally like penpals.  The woman from Portland was amazed and learned a lot from these Sudanese women.  "They were so joyful," she said, "They were always ready to dance, and sing, and laugh."

These Sudanese women who have lived through nightmarish brutality, know the secret to overcoming fear.  Joy and laughter heals.  (Perhaps this is why J.K. Rowling had her Harry Potter characters think of joyful events in order to magic away the truly scary dementors.)  

We who are well-off and relatively sheltered in the West have much to learn about joyful living.  We go around fretting about everything that might go wrong.  Even petty fears consume us:  What if I find out I don't have the best friends-and-family calling plan?  What if a friend on FaceBook unfriends me?  What if Paula Abdul leaves American Idol?  (Oh wait, all of these teeny weeny fears of mine have already happened and the planet is still turning!!)

We don't realize that living in fear actually helps create our worst nightmares.  For example...

Although there were definitely concrete reasons the global economy almost bottomed-out last year, whenever the collective PANIC increased, the stock market went down even further, making it even more likely that a total meltdown would happen;

Living in fearful stress lowers our immune systems, making us more vulnerable to disease; and

Bombing terrorists and their families, um, makes them madder, and increases their desire to retaliate against us.

So, worrying about terrorists, swine flus, and global economic meltdowns, oh my! can lead to the very scenarios we dread!  

Undeniably, catastrophes can and do happen whether we worry about them or not.  But the True You, your Spirit, is greater than anything that can happen to you.  Your Spirit is always overflowing with joy.  Always.  You can choose to tap into that infinite resource at anytime and it will magic away your fears like ash in the wind.  

So, if you're anxious about your life, rather than hiding under your bed, watch some Seinfeld reruns instead.  If you're worried for the world, rather than running to the hills, try cracking a few jokes about the worst that could happen (if you need a few tips on how to do this, late-night comedians are geniuses here).  If you're fretting about friends and family, rather than taking another Valium or picking up another bottle of beer, start to fake laugh as hard as you can (scientific studies have shown that fake laughter produces the same physiological benefits as real laughter.)

As your fears decrease, you'll have much more space and energy in your life to do what you truly enjoy, whether that's dancing, singing, or simply laughing.  And the converse of the maxim "worrying helps create your fears" is also true:  Living in the energy of joy helps create a world with less suffering, more love, and where people can fulfill their greatest destinies.  Heal your fears, help heal the world!!  

Happy Halloween!

To schedule a healing session or intuitive spiritual consultation with Monica call her at 206-306-1144, email her at monica@monicamcdowell.com or for more information, check out her website at www.monicamcdowell.com 

Copyright © 2009 by Monica McDowell, MDiv.  All Rights Reserved.  This entry may be linked, forwarded, or copied in its entirety as long as this paragraph is included and there is no profit gained by doing so.  Monica is an energy healer, speaker, spiritual director, minister, and author of My Karma Ran Over My Dogma:  Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic.  She has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in the United States ever granted civil rights in a federal ruling. 

   

The Other Side

This isn't my normal type of blog posting, but I wrote this for a Spiritual Director's resource page and thought I would share it here...

As a newly ordained pastor of a small, historic church outside of Princeton, New Jersey, I was thrilled that some of the residents of a group home across the street from the church began attending worship. These neighbors suffered from mental illnesses and though able to work and mostly care for themselves, they still needed enough assistance that living alone was not possible.

One of these neighbors was a young man named David. He was a regular attendee and several of us at the church decided he would be our honorary greeter because he was so hospitable to churchgoers and guests alike.

One night, David, who occasionally told me, "I have problems," managed to take his life. It was difficult news to receive as a fledgling minister. In the same phone call, the group home asked me to conduct his memorial service. This deeply moved me, because David held a special place in my heart; he was the first person to ever call me "pastor."

On the day of the memorial service, I arrived at the church early to prepare. Standing at the pulpit, I was looking down, leafing through my notes on the sermon I was going to give. The topic was God's compassion for all and I was using the scripture, "nothing can separate us from the love of God." I had been taught growing up that people who committed suicide were not assured of their place in heaven. I didn't believe such a thing anymore and hadn't for a long time. However, I knew there could be several people attending who might have been taught something similar, and I wanted to offer a different perspective. To my thinking, God understood David better than anyone. Surely, God knew all about the illness that would drive David to desperately seek his own death, and of course God had compassion for David's struggles and knew intimately of David's kind and welcoming heart. However, I wasn't confident my message would have much of an impact considering the grief and confusion surrounding this death, but it was all I could come up with to say.

As I was continuing to look over my sermon notes, I heard one of the old wooden swing doors in the back of the church creak, which they always did when someone opened one of them, and then I heard an old, wooden pew in the back‹on the same side as the creaking door‹crack, which they always did as well when someone sat down in one of them. So, I casually looked up from my notes to see who had come in and sat down.

There, on the same spot of the same pew he always sat in every Sunday, was David. He was looking at me with a big smile, and I realized later that this could not have been a memory, because I had never before seen him with even a hint of a smile on his face. His body was translucent and filled with light and I knew, soul-deep and without a doubt, that he was healed and at peace. As I met his eyes, the whole sanctuary filled with a joy that lifted my eyes heavenward and an energy that coursed through my body telling me "all is well." It lasted for just a few moments and when I returned my gaze to David's pew, he was gone.

It is the only time I have every seen someone I know on the "other side." It was also the easiest memorial service I have ever had to conduct, despite the grim circumstances of David's death. A church member told me afterward, in utter shock, that it was the most joyful memorial service she had ever been to and she thanked me for talking about God's compassion for David. I never told her why there was so much joy in that sanctuary that day, nor why I could preach with such conviction that I knew David was in God's eternal arms of Love and Light. At the time, I didn't know if she or anyone would believe my story, and it was several more years before I took the risk of telling someone about it. I offer it now, though, in this public place, in the hope that it might bring some comfort to those grieving the loss of loved ones from suicide.

May God bring you all the peace your heart needs and hold you strong in those eternal arms of Love and Light.


To schedule a healing session, intuitive spiritual consultation or speaking event with Monica call her at 206-306-1144, email her at monica@monicamcdowell.com or for more information, check out her website at www.monicamcdowell.com

Copyright © 2009 by Monica McDowell, MDiv. All Rights Reserved. This entry may be linked, forwarded, or copied in its entirety as long as this paragraph is included and there is no profit gained by doing so. Monica is an energy healer, spiritual director, minister, and author of My Karma Ran Over My Dogma: Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic. She has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in the United States ever granted civil rights in a federal ruling.