EEG's and Thanksgivings

Or:  How to Heal Negative Thoughts (Part One)

This past weekend I participated in a scientific experiment to see if positive thoughts and intentions significantly affect brain waves and personal health.  Several thousand people around the globe, many of whom are healers and healthcare workers, checked in on a website at a synchronized time to see the picture of a woman.  We were instructed to focus on her for exactly ten minutes with specific intentions and visualizations.  It was an awesome experience for me and the results of her brain wave scans and other tests appear to be off the charts!!  (We're still waiting for the data to be analyzed completely.)  The woman who was the case study had no idea when the experiment would begin.  She says she was just sitting in a room off by herself, all hooked up to an EEG, and...

"Really, I was becoming a little bit bored, when suddenly, I sensed a kind of wave, visually curling in front of me, and with it a slight, vibrational tingling spreading over my whole body.  Then I saw what looked like stardust, many tiny light pulses just scattering all around me.  After a moment these little particles seemed to coalesce into a very bright wave of light permeating my whole body, putting me into a rolling, wave like pattern.  I felt that I was rocking slightly back and forth, kind of in the infinity loop pattern.  The light wave became even stronger, engulfing me.  I felt heat and prickling all through my body, a rush of physical energy pulling me along.  This waxed and waned; it was not a solid, fixed entity but had movement to it.  I felt I was wired to an ongoing energy source that made my nerves tingle, and my mind seemed to be expanded.  I have no idea how long this lasted, I had no sense of time at all.  The only awareness I had was my body and my mind simultaneously existing, awareness shifting back and forth on a continuum.  It is hard to put this into exact words.  When they told me the experiment was over, I did not want to leave it.  I was in a state of vibration, of flux, of tingling, of sensations and emotions resonating within me.  My heart was full of gratitude for all the people participating, sending energy to me."

I will write more about my own experience participating in this experiment in another blog, but it definitely showed scientifically that positive thoughts, intentions, and energy can make a huge difference in affecting our brain and our health in beneficial ways.

If you have trouble with negative or unwanted thoughts, below are three methods to help you heal negative thoughts.  Each method is valid and each method has an assumption behind it that is equally valid.  Which method you use is entirely up to you.  I have found that different methods appeal to me at different times and sometimes my negative thoughts are multi-layered requiring several methods to completely heal them.  Choose which method resonates with you and try it out!

PROGRAM IN, PROGRAM OUT

The first method is based on the assumption that the brain essentially functions much like a computer and follows the general principle:  program in, program out.  In other words, if you feed your brain negativity, that is all it's going to spew back out at you.  You are what you eat.  You become what you think.  I could go on, but unless you're reading this while watching reruns of The Office, I think this is pretty self-explanatory.  

So then according to this model, the way to change your negative thinking patterns is to reprogram your mental habits.  Change the channel.  Tune into a different frequency.  I could go on..

Here is how to do that:

1) Whenever you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, immediately give your brain a new command and say to yourself (out loud if there are no people around, or at least no people who will question your sanity),  "Stop!" or "Cancel!"  or "Delete!" just like you would use these commands on your computer if you wanted to stop or cancel or delete a computer operation or file.  Then, immediately replace the old negative thinking pattern with a new positive thought.  So this is an example of what I might do.

I catch myself thinking, "Gosh, I'm just not able to get done what I want to get done!"

I then say to myself, Delete!"

I program in a new thought, "I am able to get done what I want to get done.  I will use my time and energy effectively today."

Because our brains literally become hardwired into patterns, whether negative or positive ones, you may have to repeat this process many times to hardwire in the new positive thinking you want to have.

2) A variation of this that I really do not recommend, but I am going to mention it because some psychologists promote it.  This method is to produce a small amount of pain whenever you catch yourself thinking a negative thought.  For example, a person might keep a rubber band on their wrist and whenever they catch themselves thinking a negative thought, they snap the rubber band so that the brain associates the negative thought with pain and over time will stop.  This may, in fact, be effective for some.  But because it can so easily be abused and escalate into self-flagellation and also be associated with the belief, "I need to be punished for my bad thoughts, actions, feelings" that I don't recommend it.  Although it may work, there are healthier methods that are just as effective, if not more so, and in the end promote a stronger sense of self-love.  Here's an episode from the TV show, Cheers, you may remember.  A psychologist tries to cure Cliff, the postman, of negativity, by electronically shocking him via a remote-controlled dog collar every time he says something obnoxious, boring, or outrageous.  It demonstrates how out of control this methodology can get!!

TAP TO RE-TRAIN

The second method for healing negative thoughts builds on the first method.  It also assumes the brain works like a computer and gets hardwired into thinking patterns.  However, it adds an energy component.  Not only are our brains hardwired in their circuitry, our brain's ENERGY also develops patterns that need to be re-programmed.  This can generally be done through a process of energy tapping.  This is by no means a new methodology.  Rather it is an ancient one found in many different cultures, that recently has been discovered by the west.  I will teach you the general tapping technique as found in the books, Energy Medicine and Energy Psychology, by Donna Eden and David Feinstein (with permission from authors).  

1) Choose a negative thought you would like to change.  "I don't like my body."

2) State the new positive thought you would like to have.  "I like/love my body."

3) Now state this same positive thought but using a negative word(s) in it.  "I no longer dislike my body."

4) The left brain is more sensitive to negativity and critical thinking, so now using the positive statement with the negative twist from #3 above, tap your left-hand fingers several times along the side of your head starting at your left temple, across the head above your left ear, and in a general arc down behind your ear as you say out loud, "I no longer dislike my body."  Repeat this several times.

5) Because the right brain is more sensitive to positivism and creativity, use the positive statement from #2 above and do the same thing on the right side of your head that you did on your left.  Tap several times with your right-hand fingers starting at your right temple, across your head above your right ear, and down in a general arc behind your right ear as you say out loud, "I like/love my body."  Repeat this several times.  

6) Repeat #4 and #5 a few times a day for up to 30 days.  Tapping has been scientifically shown to create receptivity in the brain to new thoughts.  The more you tap, the more you create a new energy field with a positive habit, and help your brain re-write its old programming in both its wiring and its energy patterns.

THE ZEN ZONE

The third method  comes from Zen Buddhism.  The assumption behind this method is that thoughts do not arise from any particular individual.  Thoughts arise from a larger consciousness that we all are a part of, but the fact that you have negative (or positive) thoughts is of no significance.  So, the solution is to detach from any negative thoughts that you have.

To illustrate, I might notice the thought arises in me when I'm walking down the street: "I really don't like that person's purple hair."  Rather than attach significance to it, such as ("This must mean I'm a bad person for having such a nasty thought" or "Shame on me for thinking that" or having more judging thoughts about the person: "They really have issues"), I simply allow the thought to be.  I notice it, and then I let it go. You can visualize this by imagining all thoughts that pass through your mind as clouds floating by or as balloons floating away.  And, if it is helpful, name the thought as you watch it go, such as "fear" or "judgment" or "anger."

Because everything is energy, all thoughts have energy, too.  I'm sure you've been in a room of negative thinking people and you can feel it, just like you can feel it when you're in a room with positive thinking people!  This is what the scientific experiment I participated in proved.  Thoughts have energy and they can make a big difference!!  

Thus, energetically, by detaching from a negative thought and not giving any significance to it, this de-energizes the thought form.  By not attaching "bad" to it or any "bad" feelings, it loses its potential power in your mental energy and health.  If, on the other hand, you add more judgmental thoughts and feelings about yourself or someone else because you had a negative thought, you ENERGIZE the thought form, making it more likely it will repeat.

Detaching from thoughts is a helpful practice in general and can teach you that you are not your thoughts.  You are greater than your thoughts.  Your identity is not dependent on your thoughts (or your circumstances, or emotions)!  By not judging yourself for having it, or thinking that the thought is any big deal, it can lose all its boomeranging power, and never return.

However, sometimes there is more to healing thoughts than any of these three methods allow.  Perhaps you do all of the above and the negative thought STILL recurs.  Maybe you notice strong emotions or unwanted behaviors coming along with the negative thought.  Then what you might need is some good old-fashioned soul work, and what I do to heal these particularly sticky negative thoughts will have to be a blog all its own.   

FAIL-SAFE METHOD #4

But in the meantime, give thanks.  If you find yourself thinking anything negative, whether you reprogram, tap to train, or zenly let it all go, follow it all up with gratitude.  Keep your attention focused on your heart when you do this and think of one thing, or five things, or everything you have to be grateful for, and then dwell in this state of being for a while.  Gratitude can help shift you out of most negative thinking patterns by refocusing on the heart rather than the head and by stimulating in you a positive energy that's as strong as any method or trick or technique.  Donna Eden states that "gratitude is the best vaccination for everything"and energetically, it generates radiant energy flows which help in your body's healing and health.  

So as we prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving, remember that by giving thanks, you are helping to heal yourself mind, body, and soul.  Heal yourself, help heal the world!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

To schedule a healing session or speaking event with Monica call her at 206-306-1144, email her at monica@monicamcdowell.com or for more information, check out her website at www.monicamcdowell.com

Copyright © 2009 by Monica McDowell, MDiv.  All Rights Reserved.  This entry may be linked, forwarded, or copied in its entirety as long as this paragraph is included and there is no profit gained by doing so.  Monica is an energy healer, speaker, spiritual director, minister, and author of My Karma Ran Over My Dogma:  Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic.  She has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in the United States ever granted civil rights in a federal ruling.

The Halloween-Teen Syndrome

(or How to Heal Your Fears, Part One)

A few weeks ago, a friend posted a video from YouTube.  The introduction to it stated:

"This is a car advertisement from England.  When they finished filming the ad, the film editor noticed something moving along the side of the car, like a ghostly white mist.  They found out that a person had been killed a year earlier in that exact same spot.  The ad was never put on TV because of the unexplained ghostly phenomenon.  Watch the front of the car as it clears the trees in the middle of the screen and you'll see the white mist crossing in front of the car, then following it along the road...Spooky!  Is it a ghost, or is it simply mist?  You decide.  If you listen closely to the ad, you'll even hear the cameraman whispering in the background about it near the end of the commercial."

Saying I'm fascinated by all things supernatural is like saying FaceBook is addicting, (duh!), so I eagerly clicked on the video's play button, turned up the volume to be sure to hear the whispering of the cameraman, got close to the computer screen so I could see the mist in front of the small car, and waited with bated breath for a ghost sighting.

If you're yelling, "Sucker!" at me right now, you guessed the set-up that I, with my gullible, Gilliganesque personality, totally missed.  Yup, it was just a gag video to scare you out of your skivvies and I got reeled in as easily as a limp fish.  When the sight and sound gag appeared, I let out a yell like a strangled peacock and about fell out of my chair from fright.  My heart was hopping around like a rabbit on crack so I started doing lots of deep breathing to try to calm it down.  After that I did something very unexpected:  I started laughing—hard—harder than I should have without first putting on a pair of Depends.

(For all ye of curious nature, I've posted the video below.  DO NOT get close to your computer screen and turn the volume up like I did unless you crave heart attacks.  You have been warned.) 

Apparently, these gag videos are all the rage among our young, for when I told my teenagers about the video, their response was "No big deal.  Kids send that stuff to each other all the time."  (Translation:  Duh, Mom!)  I should note here that my teens LOVED Bastyr University's "Haunted Trails" this year.  A few nights ago they stood in line for over two hours in the damp, teeth-chattering cold just so they could be fake-spooked for fifteen minutes by masked ghouls and chainsaw-carrying zombies.  Maybe this is a just an older version of the more innocent startle-and-laughter they got from Jack-in-the-Boxes.  Or maybe teenagers deserve their own designation in the animal kingdom, as the only mammals who LIKE to be terrified.

Maybe, though, there is something to be learned from all of this about how to heal our fears.

The unexpected, regaling laughter that emerged out of my body after about being scared out of it, gave me a new awareness.  Somehow I was able to see the humor in terror.  Slightly demented, I know, but it led to another insight:  Laughter is a stronger energy than fear.  You cannot laugh and be afraid at the same time.  Try it!  Right now!  Imagine something really scary.  Feel your fear.  Then imagine something funny enough to make you laugh, like your favorite Seinfeld episode.  Now try to feel your fear while you're laughing.  See!  It's impossible!  Both are generated in your belly (or for you energy connoisseurs, the stomach chakra) and laughing drives the angst right out!  

Perhaps this is why J.K. Rowling had her Harry Potter characters think of something funny in order to defeat the fake-scary boggarts.  And, perhaps this is what draws teens afflicted with the Halloween-Teen Syndrome to haunted trails and horror flicks like gluttonous pigs to slop:  by experiencing fear and then enjoying it and laughing at it, they learn how to overcome it.

As adults, I believe we lose the natural ability that teens have to laugh at fear, because, well, we are aware that there are REALLY horrific things in the world:  Terrorists, and swine flus, and global economic meltdowns!  Oh my!  Terrorists, and swine flus, and global economic meltdowns!  Oh my!  Can laughter really make a difference in light of such things?  I mean, there are truly barbaric events going on in our world right now.  Darfur, anyone?

On a recent episode of The Oprah Show, people and organizations that empower women and children were showcased.  One person, a woman from Portland, started a successful fundraising campaign for Sudanese women who had lived through unimaginable horrors.  She visited some of these women in Sudan earlier this year, to meet them and deliver letters from women in the States who had chosen to befriend them and sponsor them personally like penpals.  The woman from Portland was amazed and learned a lot from these Sudanese women.  "They were so joyful," she said, "They were always ready to dance, and sing, and laugh."

These Sudanese women who have lived through nightmarish brutality, know the secret to overcoming fear.  Joy and laughter heals.  (Perhaps this is why J.K. Rowling had her Harry Potter characters think of joyful events in order to magic away the truly scary dementors.)  

We who are well-off and relatively sheltered in the West have much to learn about joyful living.  We go around fretting about everything that might go wrong.  Even petty fears consume us:  What if I find out I don't have the best friends-and-family calling plan?  What if a friend on FaceBook unfriends me?  What if Paula Abdul leaves American Idol?  (Oh wait, all of these teeny weeny fears of mine have already happened and the planet is still turning!!)

We don't realize that living in fear actually helps create our worst nightmares.  For example...

Although there were definitely concrete reasons the global economy almost bottomed-out last year, whenever the collective PANIC increased, the stock market went down even further, making it even more likely that a total meltdown would happen;

Living in fearful stress lowers our immune systems, making us more vulnerable to disease; and

Bombing terrorists and their families, um, makes them madder, and increases their desire to retaliate against us.

So, worrying about terrorists, swine flus, and global economic meltdowns, oh my! can lead to the very scenarios we dread!  

Undeniably, catastrophes can and do happen whether we worry about them or not.  But the True You, your Spirit, is greater than anything that can happen to you.  Your Spirit is always overflowing with joy.  Always.  You can choose to tap into that infinite resource at anytime and it will magic away your fears like ash in the wind.  

So, if you're anxious about your life, rather than hiding under your bed, watch some Seinfeld reruns instead.  If you're worried for the world, rather than running to the hills, try cracking a few jokes about the worst that could happen (if you need a few tips on how to do this, late-night comedians are geniuses here).  If you're fretting about friends and family, rather than taking another Valium or picking up another bottle of beer, start to fake laugh as hard as you can (scientific studies have shown that fake laughter produces the same physiological benefits as real laughter.)

As your fears decrease, you'll have much more space and energy in your life to do what you truly enjoy, whether that's dancing, singing, or simply laughing.  And the converse of the maxim "worrying helps create your fears" is also true:  Living in the energy of joy helps create a world with less suffering, more love, and where people can fulfill their greatest destinies.  Heal your fears, help heal the world!!  

Happy Halloween!

To schedule a healing session or intuitive spiritual consultation with Monica call her at 206-306-1144, email her at monica@monicamcdowell.com or for more information, check out her website at www.monicamcdowell.com 

Copyright © 2009 by Monica McDowell, MDiv.  All Rights Reserved.  This entry may be linked, forwarded, or copied in its entirety as long as this paragraph is included and there is no profit gained by doing so.  Monica is an energy healer, speaker, spiritual director, minister, and author of My Karma Ran Over My Dogma:  Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic.  She has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in the United States ever granted civil rights in a federal ruling. 

   

The Other Side

This isn't my normal type of blog posting, but I wrote this for a Spiritual Director's resource page and thought I would share it here...

As a newly ordained pastor of a small, historic church outside of Princeton, New Jersey, I was thrilled that some of the residents of a group home across the street from the church began attending worship. These neighbors suffered from mental illnesses and though able to work and mostly care for themselves, they still needed enough assistance that living alone was not possible.

One of these neighbors was a young man named David. He was a regular attendee and several of us at the church decided he would be our honorary greeter because he was so hospitable to churchgoers and guests alike.

One night, David, who occasionally told me, "I have problems," managed to take his life. It was difficult news to receive as a fledgling minister. In the same phone call, the group home asked me to conduct his memorial service. This deeply moved me, because David held a special place in my heart; he was the first person to ever call me "pastor."

On the day of the memorial service, I arrived at the church early to prepare. Standing at the pulpit, I was looking down, leafing through my notes on the sermon I was going to give. The topic was God's compassion for all and I was using the scripture, "nothing can separate us from the love of God." I had been taught growing up that people who committed suicide were not assured of their place in heaven. I didn't believe such a thing anymore and hadn't for a long time. However, I knew there could be several people attending who might have been taught something similar, and I wanted to offer a different perspective. To my thinking, God understood David better than anyone. Surely, God knew all about the illness that would drive David to desperately seek his own death, and of course God had compassion for David's struggles and knew intimately of David's kind and welcoming heart. However, I wasn't confident my message would have much of an impact considering the grief and confusion surrounding this death, but it was all I could come up with to say.

As I was continuing to look over my sermon notes, I heard one of the old wooden swing doors in the back of the church creak, which they always did when someone opened one of them, and then I heard an old, wooden pew in the back‹on the same side as the creaking door‹crack, which they always did as well when someone sat down in one of them. So, I casually looked up from my notes to see who had come in and sat down.

There, on the same spot of the same pew he always sat in every Sunday, was David. He was looking at me with a big smile, and I realized later that this could not have been a memory, because I had never before seen him with even a hint of a smile on his face. His body was translucent and filled with light and I knew, soul-deep and without a doubt, that he was healed and at peace. As I met his eyes, the whole sanctuary filled with a joy that lifted my eyes heavenward and an energy that coursed through my body telling me "all is well." It lasted for just a few moments and when I returned my gaze to David's pew, he was gone.

It is the only time I have every seen someone I know on the "other side." It was also the easiest memorial service I have ever had to conduct, despite the grim circumstances of David's death. A church member told me afterward, in utter shock, that it was the most joyful memorial service she had ever been to and she thanked me for talking about God's compassion for David. I never told her why there was so much joy in that sanctuary that day, nor why I could preach with such conviction that I knew David was in God's eternal arms of Love and Light. At the time, I didn't know if she or anyone would believe my story, and it was several more years before I took the risk of telling someone about it. I offer it now, though, in this public place, in the hope that it might bring some comfort to those grieving the loss of loved ones from suicide.

May God bring you all the peace your heart needs and hold you strong in those eternal arms of Love and Light.


To schedule a healing session, intuitive spiritual consultation or speaking event with Monica call her at 206-306-1144, email her at monica@monicamcdowell.com or for more information, check out her website at www.monicamcdowell.com

Copyright © 2009 by Monica McDowell, MDiv. All Rights Reserved. This entry may be linked, forwarded, or copied in its entirety as long as this paragraph is included and there is no profit gained by doing so. Monica is an energy healer, spiritual director, minister, and author of My Karma Ran Over My Dogma: Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic. She has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in the United States ever granted civil rights in a federal ruling.

The Why's Have It: Healing Limiting Beliefs

Here in Seattle with all our rain (the past summer is an extraordinary exception to the norm) the growth of dandelions in size and number is truly spectacular.  Pre-historic-sized.  Copious.  Even noxious.  And very, very hard to get rid of.

This is how limiting beliefs function in our lives.  They can grow so large and spread so quickly that without constant vigilance, in a very short amount of time your mental yard can turn into a limiting-belief-dandelion-field interspersed with a few patches of healthy-mental-green-grass.

As with all weeds, but with dandelions in particular, the solution is to get to the root of the plant.  If it hasn't been uprooted enough, the dandelion will just re-grow itself from a partial root.  This isn't "bad" as it just reveals that there's more to unearth in your limiting-belief-mental-yard.  But you will save yourself a lot of time and effort in the end, if you can get most of the root out the first time, before the dandelion has the chance to re-grow and blow its seemingly infinite and eternally propagating seeds into the breeze to multiply all over again.

There are a variety of tools that can assist you in dandelion root excavation.  So, too, there are many tools to search out and dissolve limiting beliefs in your life.  Here is one I use that is easy to remember and effective.  I borrow the general principle from Martha Beck who got it from Japanese automakers.  Yup.  True.  

It seems that one of the main reasons Japanese automakers have become so efficient in their production lines is that they have adopted the philosophy of "The 5 Why's."  If a problem emerges in their cars at any point in production, it is the supervisor's MO to ask, "Why did this happen?"  No matter what answer they get, they don't stop there.  If they did, they'd probably only solve a surface issue and the problem would keep repeating.  So, after they solve the first "why," they ask a second time, "And why did this happen?"  They have found that it generally takes up to 5 "why's" to find the source or root of their problem.  By searching for the source from the beginning they save themselves a lot of time and effort (and money) on all sorts of levels.

I often apply this "5 Why's" principle to finding the root of limiting beliefs (and stuck emotions) in myself and clients.  Let's say I have the intuitive hit during a healing session with a client named "Dave" to have him say the affirmation, "I love myself totally and completely" outloud.

If Dave then repeats this with all the force and conviction of an emaciated worm, I suspect that perhaps he doesn't really believe it.  And then I know we're dealing with a limiting belief (or two or three or a whole yardful) that needs to be uprooted.  Having him say the affirmation over and over again without uncovering the limiting belief behind it is like mowing over all the dandelions in your lawn:  a temporary fix.  

To begin the uprooting, I have Dave repeat the opposite of the affirmation.  (Always side with the fear, the anger, the grief, the shadow, the unknown, the unconscious, allowing it to surface and flow while holding space for it in compassion, rather than fight it.  It loses its power that way.)  

So continuing on with the above example, I would have Dave side with his mostly unconscious, limiting belief and state out loud:  "I do not love myself totally and completely."

Probably, Dave will confess this with quite a bit more energy, even relief, showing that this is the real belief lurking in his mental yard, controlling his life from the shadows.  Even this early in the process, pain may start pouring out of him he didn't know he had, revealing how much emotional energy he has had to use up in order to keep this limited belief rooted and buried in his mental yard.  Once any emotions that have surfaced have been allowed to be, have run their course and thus mostly subsided, our dialogue might continue like this...

"Dave, why don't you love yourself totally and completely?"

"I'm a failure."

"And why do you believe you are you a failure?"

"Because I'm worthless."

"Why are you worthless?"

"My dad told me so when I was growing up.  Over and over."

"Why did your dad tell you that?"

"I don't know.  I guess, because he felt worthless."

"And why do you think he felt that way?"

"Because his dad told him that, too."

Aha!  In "5 why's" we've uncovered the root of this particular mental belief.  It's a family belief that has been passed down father to son, perhaps for generations, like a worn-out, out-of-style suit that doesn't fit.  The rest of the session, while I work with his energy surrounding this belief, I would ask my client to verbally release his family belief and affirm what he can now see as truth (that the belief that he is worthless doesn't have anything to do with him personally, and he can now choose whether to keep holding onto this belief or affirm a new one.)

There may be more limiting beliefs that have to be uncovered for Dave to truly begin to love himself totally and completely.  Actually, I'd say that's a given.  Dandelions and limiting beliefs don't live in solitary confinement for very long and so it's necessary for a person's mental yard to be excavated one dandelion belief at a time, until the "meta-shift" happens.  

This "meta-shift" happens the day you suddenly realize, "Hey, I don't need limiting beliefs at all anymore." You then bulldoze your entire mental yard all at once and start living with a completely new reality.  Your new MO?  Unlimited potential.  The sky's the limit.  Vast possibilities.  Unconditional love for self and all.  Then when an occasional dandelion pops up, as they invariably do in even the most meticulously cared for lawn, you can admire it for its own beauty, its tenacity, thank it for what it has to teach you, gently dig it up by the root, and put it in the compost pile to eventually feed and nurture the flowers in the mental garden you do want to grow.  

It takes quite a bit of work to unearth these limiting beliefs and dissolve them in compassion--what one healer calls "The Great Undoing."  But emerging from the other side is a life full to overflowing with love, joy, peace, beauty, and fulfillment.  Don't believe it?  Then you may have some mental dandelions to start digging up!  

In my own belief system, there's no time like the present to start re-creating your inner landscape and what you achieve inwardly, will absolutely change outer reality.  I have no doubt about it!

To schedule a healing session or intuitive spiritual consultation with Monica call her at 206-306-1144, email her at monica@monicamcdowell.com or for more information, check out her website at www.monicamcdowell.com

Copyright © 2009 by Monica McDowell, MDiv.  All Rights Reserved.  This entry may be linked, forwarded, or copied in its entirety as long as this paragraph is included and there is no profit gained by doing so.  Monica is an energy healer, spiritual director, minister, and author of My Karma Ran Over My Dogma:  Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic.  She has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in the United States ever granted civil rights in a federal ruling.

The Great Equalizer

How to Balance the Ego

Part 3 in an ongoing series on healing the ego


What weighs more: a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

We all know the answer--they weigh the same, but the mind's tendency is to vote for the bricks. What looks and feels like a weightier substance should have more value on the scale--even with all things being equal.

This is the same error the ego makes again and again with regard to a person's value. The person who looks or seems weightier/of more import is of more value, even though "we know this truth to be self-evident that all people are created equal" to quote our country's Declaration of Independence--with more equal gender language.
(Note: Even though our society has this ideal, in reality it is way out of balance here. For example, compare the wages of sports stars with teachers.)

But this belief--that all are equal--is exactly the tool needed to balance your own ego. The corollary--that everyone's gifts are also equal--is also a helpful belief. These beliefs are about value not about equivalency. I am not exactly the same as you. I have my unique gifts; so do you. But by nature we all have a divine spark and the same Source of genius, and therefore, we--and our gifts--are of equal value in the unfolding universe.

These beliefs are easy to assent to as ideals, but in practice our minds tend to make the bricks-over-feathers error. Here are ten quick tips to help you catch yourself and rebalance your own ego:

1) If you notice someone else's ego is bothering you, heal your own ego with unconditional love and compassion and the affirmation: we are of equal value.

2) If you notice you are envious of another's success, heal your own ego with unconditional love and compassion and the affirmation: we are of equal value.

3) If you notice yourself thinking that you are better or worse than someone else, heal your own ego with unconditional love and compassion and the affirmation: we are of equal value.

4) If you don't think it's important to look for ego/shadow within, start looking at the part of you that thinks that--it's from ego/shadow and heal that part of you with unconditional love and compassion and the affirmation: We all have egos/shadows and we are all loved infinitely.

5) If you find self-disgust, self-hate, or self-denigration within, heal your own ego with unconditional love and compassion and the affirmation: I am of infinite value.

6) If you find yourself exalting another or denigrating another, heal your own ego with unconditional love and compassion and the affirmation: we are of equal value.

7) If you find yourself evaluating your gifts in comparison to another, heal your own ego with unconditional love and compassion and the affirmation: all gifts are of equal value.

8) If you find yourself thinking that you are at a higher or lower spiritual/energetic level than another, heal your own ego with unconditional love and compassion and the affirmation: all paths and levels are of equal merit.

9) If you find yourself thinking, "I'm right and they're wrong," heal your own ego with unconditional love and compassion and the affirmation: everyone is right and everyone is wrong.

10) If you find yourself thinking, "I'm the expert here. My gifts trump theirs," heal your own ego with unconditional love and compassion and the affirmation: everyone is an expert of something and all gifts are of equal value.

Okay, so you're seeing a theme here, right? The work is always to heal the ego with unconditional love and compassion. Then the balanced ego can easily and gently move into trans-ego, for when the self (small s) knows its infinite, eternal value, when its own genius is validated, and when it is receiving a never-ending supply of unconditional love, then, of course, nothing matters! Of course, all is well! Of course, I can merge/dissolve with All That Is. Of course, because it's all One, it's all Love. Of course, of course, all are equal, because all is Self (large S)!

When you can let go of comparing yourself and evaluating others, life becomes joyful and free. You live knowing everything and everyone is a blessing and a gift. What a great way to live!

Here are 5 signs of a healthy and healing ego:

1) Whatever qualities you regard in others (love, beauty, generosity, genius, special, etc.), you regard in yourself in equal amounts.

2) Whatever regard you give to yourself is also given in equal regard to others.

3) When you catch your ego out-of-balance, you offer love and compassion to yourself, with accountability and apologies to others if needed.

4) Whatever you know, you hold in balance with unknowing, along with the reverence that all is ultimately mystery.

5) You operate from a place of gratitude and humility knowing everyone is a student, even the Dalai Lama.


I encourage you to keep healing your ego with unconditional love and compassion and infinite regard. Doing so will help our society and world regain its balance too, so that (to rephrase a well-known and oft-quoted prophet),

"Every valley shall be lifted up and every hill made low, and the glory of the Divine shall be revealed in all."

Next time: Healing your Thoughts

To schedule a healing session or intuitive spiritual consultation with Monica call her at 206-306-1144, email her at monica@monicamcdowell.com or for more information, check out her website at www.monicamcdowell.com

Copyright © 2009 by Monica McDowell, MDiv. All Rights Reserved. This entry may be linked, forwarded, or copied in its entirety as long as this paragraph is included and there is no profit gained by doing so. Monica is an energy healer, spiritual director, minister, and author of My Karma Ran Over My Dogma: Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic. She has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in the United States ever granted civil rights in a federal ruling.

Living from your Truest Self - Transcending the Ego

Living from Your Truest Self - Transcending the Ego: Trick or Treat?

(If you haven't already, please read the previous post before reading this one. This is part two of a series on healing the ego.)

Gosh, it happened so fast. I had finally healed my self-worth, owned my shadow, and was coming into my own. After working through my dark night of the soul fifteen years ago, a lifetime's worth of loneliness and melancholy were completely gone, never to return. I had a master's degree, my career was established (in spirituality, no less), and I was married with two young kids, a house, a cat, and a dog. My life's path and vocation were set, or so I thought.

Looking back, I can see I was fulfilling the ego part of my journey, even though it felt to me like I was just getting started. I had most of what I wanted and was happy, feeling fulfilled, helping other people heal and grow spiritually.

Then it all began to be stripped away in the blink of an eye (actually, a wink of an eye - you have to have read my book to get this). My job, career, house, health, reputation, money, car, spiritual community - they were all dramatically and drastically eliminated from my life and identity.

This can be the irony of the stage of transcending the ego. What? After creating my fulfilling dreams, it all gets taken away? Why? What was the point of building a healthy self-esteem and identity only to have it stormed by the gates of hell?

Well, actually that was the point. You need a strong ego, a healthy, balanced self-esteem if you are going to transition well into the next stage - trans-ego. The universe/God/All That Is seems to know exactly when the ego stage has been fulfilled to the extent that it needs to be in a person¹s life. In other words, the fulfillment of the ego stage is NOT for the sake of fulfilling the ego. The fulfillment of the ego stage is for the purpose of establishing a strong enough foundation to transition into trans-ego. You must have a firm enough sense of self in order to survive having all of the illusions of self exposed, so you can then discover your true Self (big S). Tricky, eh? (I grew up right next to Canada.)

There are several other tricky insights I have found since I have awakened to my Truest Self.

Tricky insight #2: Because humans are complex beings, you can have parts of you that are in trans-ego, parts of you that are in ego, and parts of you that are in pre-ego - all at the same time! Yup, yup, isn't it fun?

So even when you have awakened to your Truest Self (you know who you are), you still have ego/shadow work to do.

Here is what we have all witnessed: spiritual leaders, healers, gurus who get sabotaged by their own ego/shadow, caught in indiscretions and abuses of power of various kinds. This may be because of ...

Tricky insight #3: The more you move into trans-ego, with more and more awareness of your Truest Self, the ego/shadow work gets subtler and subtler.

So subtle, in fact, that unless you are committed to doing ego/shadow work on yourself on a regular basis, you will probably miss the subtleties. The universe will help you, trying to get you to see the spiritual work you need to do, but this is part of the challenge of ego/shadow work. The ego/shadow is cunning and likes to hide and we tend to be blind to it in ourselves. It is also, as the wild horse analogy in part one indicated, very strong. Thus, it takes at least an equally strong commitment to doing the work to uncover it and continue to bring it to light so it can be integrated and healed.

Tricky insight #4: It is also challenging work because many of the rules that apply in transitioning from pre-ego to ego do not apply or are negated in transitioning from ego to trans-ego. This can create total confusion. Let me show you a few reasons why.

Pre-Ego-to-Ego Rule #1: Everything about you matters.
Ego-to-Trans-Ego Rule #1: Nothing matters.

Pre-Ego-to-Ego Rule #2: The individual self is important to develop in all its facets.
Ego-to-Trans-Ego Rule #2: The individual self is an illusion and its many facets need to be merged or absorbed into the Truest Self.

Pre-Ego-to-Ego Rule #3: To form a healthy ego, a great deal of affirmation, validation, and ownership of thoughts, emotions and actions are needed.
Ego-to-Trans-Ego Rule #3: To transition into trans-ego, a great deal of detachment and neutral indifference from thoughts, emotions, and actions are needed.

Pre-Ego-to-Ego Rule #4: Everything is evolving.
Ego-to-Trans-Ego Rule #4: Everything is well or perfect.


Needless to say, this can get really messy and missteps are common, especially in Rules #3 and #4. Some people who have awakened to their Truest Selves, forget or neglect to keep looking for parts of them that are in ego/shadow. Instead, they apply "Ego-to-Trans-Ego" Rules 3 and 4 to the "Pre-Ego-to-Ego" parts of themselves and others. They are indifferent where they need to be affirming. They detach where they need to be taking responsibility. For example, rather than taking ownership of abuse or boundary violations, a person might instead state, "Everything is perfect. All is well." No matter how true this statement is, in this particular scenario this statement is not coming from an integrated trans-ego place, but from a place of denial about significant ego issues that need integrating.

These missteps can result in the ego/shadow growing, fragmenting, and/or becoming unbalanced. If these missteps persist, they will set up a huge self-sabotaging showdown, which is what can derail so many spiritual leaders, healers, and gurus.

So how not to get too messed up in this process of transcending your ego and living from your Truest Self? Next time, I'll give you some tips. In the meantime, here is Trumping Principle #1: Unconditional Love works for all the stages all the time. So no matter what you run into in yourself or others, apply a large compress of compassion to your heart and theirs. This place of compassion is your Truest Self at its truest and nothing and no one can ever change this. The more compassion you are able to offer yourself and others and the more you are able to operate from this place no matter what your circumstances, you will transition into trans-ego naturally with gentleness, grace and humility.

Trick or treat? Transcending the ego may be tricky, but the treat is getting to live your life from your Truest Self. There is nothing, and let me repeat, there is no-thing (no dream, no ego fulfillment, no person) that is better than that.


To schedule a healing session or intuitive spiritual consultation with Monica call her at 206-306-1144, email her at monica@monicamcdowell.com or for more information, check out her website at www.monicamcdowell.com

Copyright © 2009 by Monica McDowell, MDiv. All Rights Reserved. This entry may be linked, forwarded, or copied in its entirety as long as this paragraph is included and there is no profit gained by doing so. Monica is an energy healer, spiritual director, minister, and author of My Karma Ran Over My Dogma: Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic. She has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in the United States ever granted civil rights in a federal ruling.

Living from Intentions vs. Living from Expectations

Part One: Healing the Ego

Living from Intentions vs. Living from Expectations

We all have them. We all live with them. No, I'm not talking about dust bunnies (or in my case, dust elephants). I'm talking about expectations. Our parents placed expectations on us when we were children (and maybe they still do!). As we grew, our teachers, employers, friends, and partners also expected certain things from us. In general, this is a normal part of coming of age and living as a social being. Our parents', and others' expectations of us for good helped us achieve more than we would have by our own expectations alone.

But as an adult, if you realize you are still living the majority of your life from expectations, then you may start to feel like a wild horse that's constantly tethered to a post. The wild stallion or mare in you wants to break free, to assert itself, to roam fearless and brave. If you have never, ever allowed that wild horse free roam, watch out. It may indeed try to break free someday and if it does (and believe me, it's strong enough to do so) it may start wreaking havoc on your nice, orderly, secure life.

Does it want to destroy you? No. It's trying to get you to listen.

I have found the image of a wild horse is apropos in helping people tame the ego and release unwanted expectations for many reasons. For one, we all know that if you cage or corner a wild animal for a long enough period of time, it can become frenzied to a point that it is dangerous to itself and others. This is when the ego goes over to the dark side or shadow. It is still operating from a good intention (to protect itself) but it has the potential to do anything to anybody at anytime. Have you ever watched the TV show, Snapped? Me neither, but we all know what it is about: adults who, driven into extreme duress and not heeding their inner stallions or mares, suddenly "snap" and do horrific things to their family member. Things that on any normal day would seem, even to them, totally impossible. "I'm a good person. I could never do that." And then, one day, they do just that.

The wild mare or stallion is also apropos for constructive ego images, not just destructive. If you are able to tame a wild horse, you have the opportunity to ride on an amazingly powerful being that can take you to places FAST you couldn't otherwise go, due to time or distance constraints.

In transpersonal psychology, the ego is not seen as inherently negative but a normal part of human development. From one way of viewing it, ideally, we go from an infant pre-ego stage, to a young adult ego stage, to a mature adult trans-ego stage. The ego, then, serves an important part of a person developing a unique and stable identity that can more or less function in the world.

Unfortunately, many religious systems forget the need for individuals to form a healthy identity as part of normal spiritual growth. Instead, they encourage self-sacrifice, even to the extreme of self-abnegation or self-humiliation. (Whips, anyone?) They promote denigrating self to the point of extinction. They discourage self-love, confusing it with self-exaltation.

Thus, many people get the idea that to have good self-esteem and self-love is unhealthy spiritually. They end up living out much of their lives still in pre-ego based on expectations of others, never realizing that forming a healthy self-image from within is desirable for spiritual advancement. Their spiritual leaders have never told them that self-denigration and self-exaltation both stem from an ego that's out of balance. So their "self-sacrificial love" is actually, "I won't/didn't form a self, so you go and live my life for me."

In reality, every stage is important for spiritual development: pre-ego, ego, and trans-ego. Self-sacrifice depends on having a "self" to begin with, for how can you give away unconditional love to someone else, when you don't have any for your self? How can you pour if your cup is empty?

For populations that experience disenfranchisement due to race, gender, class, age, sexual orientation, or disability, forming a healthy ego identity can be even more challenging as layers of oppression create even more obstacles for a person trying to realize their full potential.

So, how to let go of living from expectations and heal this powerful beast called the ego?

First, affirm yourself. "I am a unique and valuable person. I am here for a reason. My life has purpose even if I don¹t have a clue yet what it is."

Second, make a list of all the expectations that are on your life.
My parents expect me to__________.
My spouse/partner expects me to_______.
My employer expects me to__________.

I expect myself to____________. (Even self-expectations are generally from outside of you—you expect of yourself what you are "supposed" to do, according to God, society, family, etc., all, in actuality, coming from outside of you.)

Continue on until you've exhausted whatever expectations you can think of.

Third, go through the list and select which ones you don't like or don't want. If you're unsure about some of them, you might want to say them out loud and notice your body's reactions when you say them. (Your body is very connected to that wild horse in you‹ more so than your mind.) You might find when you say one of the expectations, your stomach gets queasy, your throat starts constricting, your heart skips, or your body gets anxious. What is this telling you? Just listen and take notice.

Fourth, when you've identified all the ones that you don't like or want anymore, then do this visualization.

Visualize that wild stallion/mare of yours tethered to a post with many, many tethers. Imagine that each tether is an unwanted or unneeded expectation that has been placed upon you.

Now, one by one, release each tether that keeps your wild horse tied to that post. You might want to say each release out loud. For example, I might say, "I release the unwanted expectation placed on me by society that I always wear my pants right-side-out" (or whatever).

As you release them, visualize your wild horse gradually regaining its freedom. A little dangerous? Yes, but you can handle it. You're ready. You are a genius horse whisperer. You didn't know that, did you?

Now, when all the tethers are gone, let your wild horse run free in your mind. Where does it want to go, where does it want to run? Go with it. Just let it be free. Let it race around at top speed.

If you let your wild horse out like that all the time, you might never develop its full potential. It's time to start training that wild power, ever so gradually and gently. So after your horse is all tired out from its new adventures, tell it that you will let it out again next time, but now it's time to come home and stay in a corral. Let it know that the corral is large and spacious. It can run around inside whenever it wants.

Then, bring your wild horse back into the corral. Go as slow as it needs you to, building trust. Tell it you won't tether it again, or allow others to tether it without its permission. Apologize, if you need to, for allowing self and others to cage it. Listen to it. It may be VERY, VERY ANGRY or VERY, VERY SAD or VERY, VERY AFRAID. Allow it to express its emotion to you. Gently tell it that it's okay, that you understand. Listen to what it is telling you it wants. Affirm it and give your wild horse lots of loving kindness and compassion.

Next time: Allow that wild horse to run free again. And again, bring it back to the corral. Keep this up for several visualizations until your wild horse gladly and easily comes back into the corral on its own.

Later: When you feel ready and your wild horse gives you permission, slowly learn to ride it in your visualizations. First, just put a blanket on its back. Let it get used to it. Then put a saddle on. Again, let it get used to it. Talk to it, telling your stallion/mare what you are doing and why. Always, listen to it. When you have established enough trust, then let it know that you are going to ride it. Do so, only within the confines of the corral. It may buck you here and there. That's okay. Just stay with it, letting the horse show you what's permissible and what is not.

In time, you will be riding free, but first, let your own imagination run wild. Where would you like to go in your life? What would you love to see? to do? to be? that you've never done before? You may come up with some crazy, forbidden things. That's why you're still in the corral. When you let your wild ego express itself for the first time, it might want to do some things that would harm self or others. This is getting very much in touch with the part of your ego that may have gone into a bit of the dark side for being suppressed or oppressed for so long. That's okay. It's perfectly normal to have these feelings. They are valid emotions; you just don't want to act on them. (Please see note at end of blog.)  So keep it in the corral. Keep it within your current values of morality. 

If you were given extremely rigid or extremely lax values from upbringing, you may need to do some analyzing here. Is going out for a night of tango dancing harmful to self/others? No, not really. So, that's okay. Is having wanton rabbit sex with every person you meet harmful to self/others? Possibly. So that's not okay. Keep your wild horse in the corral and promise it, it can run free again. Put some reigns on, and let your stallion/mare get used to a measure of self-control.

Then: When you're ready to open the corral and ride your now tamed power-horse out into the world, establish some wild intentions that are still moral (reigns are still on), but are based on freedom from within. "I intend to live in an ashram in India. I intend to eat chocolate-covered beetles to my heart's content. I intend to wear my pants inside-out, every Friday." (Hey, why not?) Let your now tamed, but powerful stallion/mare speed you to your intention as fast as it can to make it happen. Imagine experiencing your intentions in your mind with as much joy and satisfaction as possible.

Do this with as many of your dreams/intentions as you can. Then choose one and develop a step-by-step plan for actually getting there in real life. When you've accomplished it, then choose another one and keep going!

When you live from in-tention, you are living from "in," from within. Living from within, from intention, integrates and heals your ego, helping you build a solid foundation of healthy self-esteem so you can fulfill your potential. And, it's fun! When you live from ex-pectation, you live from "ex," from outside. This divides your inner being from your social being, creating dissonance, disappointment, and even destruction. Choosing to live from within, from intention is an exciting, fulfilling way to live. It is also a fundamental step that is necessary to learn so that you can then work on transcending your ego, the next major path of your spiritual journey in this life.

Please note:  If you feel you may be a danger to yourself or others, immediately seek out the services of a medical or other healthcare professional.  If unavailable, call a crisis help line or 911.

NEXT — Part Two: Living from your Truest Self: Transcending the Ego

To schedule a healing session or intuitive spiritual consultation with Monica call her at 206-306-1144, email her at monica@monicamcdowell.com or for more information, check out her website at www.monicamcdowell.com 

Copyright © 2009 by Monica McDowell, MDiv.  All Rights Reserved.  This entry may be linked, forwarded, or copied in its entirety as long as this paragraph is included and there is no profit gained by doing so.  Monica is an energy healer, spiritual director, minister, and author of My Karma Ran Over My Dogma:  Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic.  She has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in the United States ever granted civil rights in a federal ruling. 

FW: Monica's News

Happy Earth Day!

If you would like, take a few moments now and send some loving and healing thoughts to the earth and all its inhabitants.  Our collective intentions will make a difference!  In honor of this day, I've included one of my favorite poems, The Sycamore, by Wendell Berry at the end of this email.

FREE Breathwork Healing Groups
I am feeling compelled to teach healing through breathwork to as many people as possible so I am now offering FREE groups.  So if you have always wanted to learn this, or have already experienced it but want others to as well, invite some friends, neighbors, co-workers, or a spiritual community group, and let me know!  If you host a group, you will receive $15 off a private healing session with me that you can use for yourself or you can pass it along to someone else.  I'm kicking this off tonight with a church youth group in Bellevue.  http://www.monicamcdowell.com/index_files/Page870.html


Sunday, June 7th, 4-7 p.m.  
The next breathing/healing  potluck will be at my home on the above date.  These are free and I facilitate the time together.  RSVP as space is limited.   Join us!  They are fun and transformative!

Blog
I haven't yet got the Healing Q&A up yet.  That's because I've been hard at work finishing the first draft of my next book which has finally happened!  Yeah!  It's now out for collective editing and I've serendipitously connected with an artist who would like to work on the book with me.  More later and keep sending/calling me with your healing questions, but in the meantime check out the couple of new posts on the blog... http://monicamcdowell.blogspot.com/

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Healing Sessions
If you're wanting some healing in your life, whether it's spiritual, emotional, physical, relational, or vocational, and you'd like to have a session with me, let me know.  Hour sessions are $85 in person or over the phone.   I'd love to help facilitate your healing and growth to the next level!  I also sell healing supplies, candles, books, and breathwork cd's.  

http://www.monicamcdowell.com/index_files/Page891.html

Facebook
Join me on Facebook!  I'm having a blast and finding it's a little heaven on earth:  everyone I've ever known all connected in one place.  Find me under Monica McDowell in Seattle or put in my email  monica@monicamcdowell.com


The Sycamore

In the place that is my own place, whose earth
I am shaped in and must bear, there is an old tree growing,
a great sycamore that is a wondrous healer of itself.
Fences have been tied to it, nails driven into it,
hacks and whittles cut in it, the lightning has burned it.
There is no year it has flourished in
that has not harmed it.  There is a hollow in it
that is its death, though its living brims whitely
at the lip of the darkness and flows outward.
Over all its scars has come the seamless white
of the bark.  It bears the gnarls of its history
healed over.  It has risen to a strange perfection
in the warp and bending of its long growth.
It has gathered all accidents into its purpose.
It has become the intention and radiance of its dark fate.
It is a fact, sublime, mystical and unassailable
In all the country there is no other like it.
I recognize in it a principle, an indwelling
the same as itself, and greater, that I would be ruled by.
I see that it stands in its place, and feeds upon it,
and is fed upon, and is native, and maker.

Wendell Berry

Many Blessings to you today and to our physical home, mother earth!

Monica
--
Rev. Monica McDowell, MDiv
To order my book, My Karma Ran Over My Dogma:  Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic, send a check made out to Healing Light to 5022 NE 188th St.; LFP, WA  98155 and for credit and debit card payments, just let me know and I'll send you a Paypal invoice.  With tax and shipping by media rate  - $21.81, or by priority mail - $23.10.  
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Press Release

The lighter side of being blacklisted...

Do sexual harassment and angels, civil rights and auras, a precedent-setting federal ruling and mystical awakening even go together? They do in the Rev. Monica McDowell's riveting, stranger-than-fiction true story, My Karma Ran Over My Dogma: Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic.

With a Master of Divinity degree from Princeton Theological Seminary in her back pocket, Monica lands her dream job at a Seattle Presbyterian church, only to find that within days, the senior minister is sexually harassing her. It all goes rapidly downhill from there, faster than you can spell l-a-w-s-u-i-t. But long before Monica is finally victorious as the first ordained minister in the country ever granted civil rights, her life takes another twisting turn -- this time towards the bizarre. Like a mangy dog draws fleas, Monica starts attracting unusual mystical experiences, convincing her she's about to win a one-way ticket to the local mental ward. From angels who take a keen interest in her on-going legal case to spontaneous healings that scare the bejeezus out of her but restore her stress-devastated body to health, Monica humorously tries to make sense of it all as she is catapulted into mystery beyond her wildest imaginings. With real-life drama that includes 9/11, the Nisqually Earthquake, and Julie from The Love Boat, Monica adeptly turns this dark tale of institutional injustice into lighthearted fare. Deeply challenging to conventional understandings of "the way things work," ultimately, this page-turning saga is an inspirational memoir of a truth so strong and a love so large, no one can be unchanged in the reading of it.

To read what others are saying about this book, go to http://www.monicamcdowell.com/index_files/Page508.html

To purchase this book, call 206-306-1144 or email monica@monicamcdowell.com

Cost $16.99 plus tax and shipping.

Lady Wisdom

Do you hear Lady Wisdom calling?
Can you hear Ms. Insight raising her voice?
She's taken her stand at First and Pike!
at the busiest intersection, right in Pike's Place Market
where the traffic is thickest, she shouts,
"Hey, I'm talking to all of you,
everyone out here on the streets, Listen!"
   (adapted from The Message, Proverbs 8:1-21)

It is clear from Proverbs 8 that God as Lady Wisdom is not the face of God that is hidden and silent.  On the contrary, She is blaringly obvious.  Can't miss Her!  This passage teaches us that the problem isn't God; it's us.  We are ignoring and dismissing God just as we might any street-corner preacher.

Why are we doing this?  What She offers is abundance, honor, the right use of power, truth, justice, and fair laws -- in sum, wholeness, a good way of life for individuals and societies.  Why don't we want that?

Maybe because we think the cost is too high.  Personal integrity comes with a price tag; you might lose your job or career.  Truth and justice are expensive, so let's just keep the organization as is.

Perhaps.  But I think the reason is lack of faith.  For Jesus said if we knew what the spiritual realms offered, we'd give away everything we owned in a second in exchange for it.  So it isn't that we think that the price tag is too high.  Oh no, it's that we don't believe in the real worth of what's being offered us.  We think it's too good to be true!  We think She's running a street-side scam, so we won't take the risk.  We won't let go of the little we're clutching in our hand, so that we can receive the armloads of benefits Lady Wisdom promises us.

This Lent, take the risk.  Let go, and believe She will come through for you.

Originally published in The Gift of the Lenten Journey, 2004, for the Church of Mary Magdalene.

Copyright © 2004 by Monica McDowell, MDiv.  All Rights Reserved.  This entry may be linked, forwarded, or copied in its entirety as long as this paragraph is included and there is no profit gained by doing so.  Monica is an energy healer, spiritual director, minister, and author of My Karma Ran Over My Dogma:  Lessons Learned by a Whistle-Blowing Minister Turned Mystic.  She has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in the United States ever granted civil rights in a federal ruling.  To schedule a mind/body/spirit energy healing session or for more information, check out her website at www.monicamcdowell.com or email her at monica@monicamcdowell.com